changing the mindset

Things are changing ’round here. Minute movements are adding up to enormous shifts. The reflections offer the profound realizations of just how much has changed in the past three months.

After an incredibly stressful and emotionally exhausting 48 hours, I would have begged for a donut. Or a piece of chocolate cake. Anything gooey, sugary and thick enough to absorb the emotions and feed the dragon.

The all consuming desire for sugar is still there, but there is a presence of mind to honor and embrace the waves. The tears fall for as long as need be and the anger is released in a healthy and effective manner.

When the deluge of rain began to fall in sheets a mere ten minutes before my anticipated and planned jog, I would have “rescheduled”. I would have held off for sunnier skies and pushed the horizon out farther.

Now, I find myself craving a respite from the unrelenting heat of the summer of 2015 in Washington and seeking a rain cloud to cool me down and quiet my wandering thoughts.

When the first weeks of summer awkwardness began with children finding their groove, a momma navigating sibling power struggles and that fine line between being over-scheduled and relaxed hit with a maelstrom, I would have started my day with sweet cereals or cinnamon-sugar sprinkled bread.

The struggles are still very present, despite the calendar reading July, but I’m fueled with clean burning protein and healthy vegetables.

When I read that week 11 of my 10K training program, asked for a 4 mile jog, I would have snorted, scoffed and flummoxed about the absurdity of actually running FOUR miles.

Oh me of little faith, I just completed week 11 and am averaging an 11-minute/mile.

When given a slice of delectable perfection in the form of dessert, I would ensured that every morsel was eaten and every cent that had been spent was transformed into a bite.

I now eat for satiety and pleasure and when the singular bites transition from satisfaction to overload, I pull away.

I’ll be honest, it feels good. Really damn good. The drudgery of each day’s struggles can feel like hurdles that never cease, but the reflections offer pure visions of how the baby steps add up to big changes.

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