an opportunity for self care

Sometimes there is an opportunity, a decision to make, that has the potential to be life changing. A kind of reality shift that makes everything, from the minutiae of daily routines to the seasonal changes different.

Fourteen months ago, life changed drastically for us. Thor and I made the decision, in a very non-me like way, to go big. We put our house on the market and decided to move into the city.

Thor and I are true opposites in many ways. I hate change. It goes against every cell in my body and I silently, or not so quietly sometimes, rebel. Thor dreams big and aims for off-the-cuff changes that can create BIG waves. He plans, but doesn’t let the hiccups and inevitable unexpected bits stop him or discourage him. I prepare the path with incredible attention detail and exhaust myself preparing for the change.

We have a lot in the bank of our relationship. Fourteen years of marriage, twenty-plus year together and a few years ago we swung over the tipping of being together longer in our lives than we have been apart. We have ridden through incredibly difficult times, tested our limits and fought tooth and nail for the life, love and people we believe in.

Despite all this history, we had a lot stacked against us in the here and now of our decision.

The real estate market was hot but not nearly as HOT as when we bought our house ten years ago. We were also selling in a lukewarm locale with our sights set to buy in the tropics. We were upside down equity to mortgage. We were getting the house prepped to hit the market in the off-season; the dearth of the holidays when people are celebrating, being merry and hanging with family, but keeping their pocketbooks tightly closed. We had a special needs child who wanted nothing to do with any sort of change. Our savings was minute and our financial movability was sluggish.

But, we wanted a change. A big change. The kind that does all the things I mentioned. Changes life in so many ways.

So, we jumped. Two feet, hands held tight and eyes wide open. We risked. We rolled. We sweated.

And, by golly we did it.

We sold that house. We broke even with pennies to spare. We weathered the storm of Pepper as she processed this enormous change. We held and supported V’s tender heart has she said good-bye to her special places. We ached for our beloved willow tree and its majestic swooping branches. We laid to rest the memories that were woven deep of T.

We landed right where we needed to be and waited. The simple life of a one bedroom condo with only some 700 square feet to share got us one step closer to that place. That life. That goal. It shrunk our budget to manageable and allowed our savings to swell. Help flowed. Energies shifted. The hunt began.

Two weeks ago marks the one year anniversary of finding that place. The place where we are sinking our roots deep. The center of this support system that is now in our lives, on our sidewalks, in our schools and part of our friendships. The web is growing bigger and stronger.

Tonight I walked a long time with the pup. Out my doorstep, down the sidewalk and into the welcome smile of a friend. A like-minded fabulous momma who is walking this parenting road with grace and humility. And incredibly tender support.

This is a new life.

A new way of growing in my myself as a momma, a wife, a friend. A new form of self care.

Shutting the door on isolation and close-minded communities. Stepping into this place.

This beautiful opportunity that came from a risk, a massive change. Nothing is perfect and there is no ideal marker to meet, but this place, this home, this life we created, we changed and we are building feels so damn right.

One thought on “an opportunity for self care

  1. The risk was so worth it! Your words about “Shutting the door on isolation and close-minded communities” helped to fuel you forward and into “feels so damn right”. Home is so much more than the walls around us, isn’t it. It’s the community around us. I know just what you mean. Beautiful.


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